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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Live now on TikTok:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Breaking via Facebook:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Going bananas on Threads:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Trending via Snapchat:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Going viral on Facebook:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

1 month ago

Witty quote about perfume as an invisible, non-lethal accessory, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, perfume is meant to make heads turn, not make heads roll! 🐤💨💀"

accessory, canary, exaggeration, fragrance, humor, invisible, invisible accessory, kill, perfume, room, scent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Twitch this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

71 shares on X this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

January: the Monday of months.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Trending via Snapchat:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Shared recently on Messenger:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Live now on TikTok:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Spotted on Threads:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨