Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Going viral on Messenger:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Trending via Instagram:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, same! My phone’s basically the director of my life now 🎬📱😂!

addiction, bad, dependence, distraction, feels, humor, movie, phone, phone addiction, productive, productivity, screen, screen time, tech, tech dependence, time, watching, watching movie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

0

2 months ago

autonomy, behavior, bodily, bodily autonomy, concept, dominance, everyday, everyday humor, hand, hand dominance, hands, helping, hilarious, human, human behavior, humor, just, me, observation, personality, personality traits, playful, playful observation, traits
My bad habits got renewed for another season.

0

2 months ago

another, bad, bad habit, comedy, habit, habits, humor, renewal, season, self-improvement
The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

0

5 months ago

entertainment, humor, i, issue, issues, list, Netflix, recommendation, streaming, trust, trust issue, why
Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

0

4 months ago

beat, erection, fight, humor, joke, morning
I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

0

2 months ago

anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

0

2 months ago

behavior, early, flight, going, humor, irony, late, late night, mood, naturally, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, room, schedule, self-deprecating, sleep, sleep schedule, stay, tomorrow, tonight, weird, weird behavior

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

95 shares on Slack this month:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

96 shares on X this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Going bananas on Slack:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Spotted on Slack:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Going viral on Twitch:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Just shared via Messenger:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨