Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Spotted on Slack:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Just shared via Twitch:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Breaking via WeChat:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Going viral on Facebook:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't quit the scrolling habit, but at least my eyes won't need nicotine patches 😂📱👀

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, eyesight, humor, metaphor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

0

2 months ago

activity, best, driving, fun, gaming, humor, Kart, Mario, training, turned, winter
I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, identity, individuality, me, problem, self-expression
Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

0

4 months ago

am, boredom, distraction, habit, i, media, question, scrolling, searching, self-reflection, social, social media, why
Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

0

8 hours ago

airplane, airplane crash video, braid, candle, crash, dark, dark humor, fresh, glowing, hair, hair braid, humor, incredible, irony, light, light off, lights, relaxation, room, room smell, sheet, sheets, shower, smell, smells, video, videos
What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

0

5 days ago

alive, collapse, collapse of Rome, comparison, historical, historical comparison, humor, life, meme, memes, modern, modern life, Rome, time
I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, anything, behavior, carefree, cat, confusion, front, frustration, house, house cat, humor, i, me, shit, simplicity, slap, understand, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

85 shares on X this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Shared recently on Reddit:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Trending via Snapchat:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Spotted on X:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Trending via Threads:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Going viral on Messenger:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨