Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Going viral on WeChat:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Just landed via Telegram:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Just shared via Slack:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Freshly posted on X:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Shared recently on YouTube:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Just landed via Threads:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

34 minutes ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about pizza making bad days better, playful and humorous in tone.

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Commentary:
When life gives you meltdowns, demand a pizza with extra cheese 🍕🧀😂

anyone, bad, bad day, comfort, comfort food, day, food, food idea, free, free food, having, humor, idea, pizza, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

2 weeks ago

animal, animal care, care, caretaker, chicken, farm, humor, joke, literally, people, pun, take, wordplay
I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

4 days ago

aggressive, awkwardness, communication, creepy, humor, i, nothing, please, relationship, respond
I used to have a great future in my past.

3 days ago

future, great, humor, humorist, i, irony, past, reflection, retrospective, used
If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

5 days ago

ever, humor, problem, reason, relationship, sarcasm, wit
Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

2 weeks ago

book, distraction, excitement, focus, hard, life, once, planning, travel, trip, vacation
Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

2 weeks ago

burger, comfort, craving, held, hold, humor, i, just, life, stupid, want

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Spotted on Slack:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Live now on X:

Being strange is exhausting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

I used to have a great future in my past.

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨