Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Seen just now on Threads:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Shared recently on Discord:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Spotted on YouTube:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Breaking via Instagram:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating my twenties like a potato trying to become fries — but still ending up as mashed! 🥔➡️🍟🤯

adulthood, age, humor, know, life, life phase, me, nice, person, personality, phase, plea, please, twenty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

0

2 months ago

always, city, humor, irony, never, NYC, pee, smell, world
You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

0

2 months ago

attitude, bad, bad day, both, day, days, ever, finger, fingers, frustration, funny attitude, humor, humor quote, middle, middle finger, sarcasm
Next to nothing is a weird place.

0

2 months ago

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place
Not my room, not my elephant.

0

3 months ago

elephant, humor, indifference, responsibility, room
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

0

2 months ago

advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, irony, life, live, notes, sarcasm, sorry, take
I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

0

2 months ago

away, curb, driving, habit, humor, observation, parking, parking habit, person, sarcastic, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

84 shares on Slack this month:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

85 shares on X this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Trending via Snapchat:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Just landed via YouTube:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Going viral on Reddit:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Going viral on Discord:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Not my room, not my elephant.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨