Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Just shared via WeChat:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Going bananas on Discord:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Just shared via Reddit:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Going viral on X:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Spotted on Instagram:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Breaking via Twitch:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't hear your childhood struggles over the sound of me manually cranking up my car windows. 💪😂 #90sProblems"

bad, car, cars, growing, growing up, humor, life, manual, me, nostalgia, please, roll, struggle, technology, tell, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

0

2 months ago

bills, costs, financial, financial struggle, humor, land, Land Rover, left, luxury, me, money, much, rover, spending, struggle, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

0

3 months ago

bill, bills, card, credit, credit card, date, debt, expiration, expiration date, finance, humor, just, left, money, name, only, paid, payment, thing
I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

0

2 months ago

change, divorce, getting, humor, i, life, life change, problems, relationship, solution
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

0

3 months ago

devil, eating, ever, food, good, humor, making, taste, temptation, trick, unhealthy, unhealthy eating, unhealthy food
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

0

2 months ago

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

71 shares on X this month:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

82 shares on Discord this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Just landed via X:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Spotted on Slack:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Freshly posted on X:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Going viral on Slack:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Spotted on Discord:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨