Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Breaking via Reddit:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Going viral on X:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Live now on Threads:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Trending via Instagram:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

12 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous warning about wearing an Apple Watch with formal attire, likening it to a spy kid.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ready to save the world or just track your steps at the gala? 🚀👗🏃‍♀️

accessory, apple, Apple Watch, attire, dress, fashion, formal, formal attire, humor, kid, outfit, please, spy, spy kid, style, take, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, elephant, humor, metaphor, right, room, situation, us
I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

3 months ago

always, hard, hard work, humor, i, idiot, joke, marriage, mine, over, pride, relationship, say, wife, work, yes
At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, going, humor, irony, routine, time
If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

3 months ago

comedy, humor, joke, legal, LOLsuit, pun, someone, steal
Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

3 months ago

addiction, coffee, day, eye, hearing, humor, left, lost, number, withdrawal
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

2 months ago

beverage, calming, humor, i, irony, making, me, nervous, relaxation, smell, taste, tea

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on X this month:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

74 shares on Discord this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Spotted on Facebook:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Trending via Reddit:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Going bananas on Slack:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Making waves on Instagram:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Trending via YouTube:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨