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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,937

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Live now on Twitch:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Just shared via YouTube:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Making waves on Facebook:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Just landed via Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Just shared via Threads:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Just landed via Facebook:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ready to save the world or just track your steps at the gala? 🚀👗🏃‍♀️

accessory, apple, Apple Watch, attire, dress, fashion, formal, formal attire, humor, kid, outfit, please, spy, spy kid, style, take, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, imagination, imagine, joke, move, nose, Pinocchio, puppet, roasting, satire, straight
Drilling for oil is well boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, drilling, humor, industry, joke, oil, pun, well, work
A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

0

2 months ago

beloved, character, childhood, entertainment, humor, nostalgia, TV
I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

0

2 months ago

ancient, fulfillment, humor, i, modern, politics, prophecy, satire, stop, trying, wish
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

0

2 months ago

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole
Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

0

2 months ago

60s, comedy, cultural, cultural reference, drugs, give, history, humor, irony, just, me, nostalgia, realization, reference, satire, should, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

23 shares on Telegram this month:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

26 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Trending via Snapchat:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Breaking via Instagram:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Going viral on Threads:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just landed via TikTok:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Drilling for oil is well boring.

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨