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Commentary:
"Plot twist: weed is addicted to me 🌿😂 Looks like someone's got a green crush! Watch out, folks, the tables have turned! Just call me the forbidden fruit in the garden of ganja 😜🌱 #WeedWhisperer"

addicted, addiction, humor, irony, joke, me, plot, plot twist, surprise, twist, weed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

1 month ago
boyfriend, funny response, i, Instagram, love, media, need, posts, reply, replying, response, social, social media, someone, story
My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

1 month ago
cutting, cutting off, health, healthy, humor, next, people, revenge, said, therapist, therapy
If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

3 months ago
attitude, comeback, humor, i, matter, me, mind, over, remember, self-confidence, wit
You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

1 month ago
DupliKate, humor, jokes, Kate, name, need, suggestion, twins, wordplay
Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

1 month ago
around, cat, comfort, doing, humor, humor quote, laying, laziness, least, less, me, pet, relaxation, support, well
I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

2 months ago
coffee, delusion, humor, i, love, morning, sarcasm, smell

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Going viral on Messenger:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Going viral on Telegram:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

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Activity Log ✨

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

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Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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