Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Just landed via Snapchat:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Making waves on Reddit:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Making waves on X:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Seen just now on X:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Spotted on Reddit:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Trending via Twitch:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Going bananas on Slack:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

0
Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine logging in to Pornhub and seeing your personalized 'Year in Review' playlist… 🎶🔞 Well, at least you'd know your top 'artists.' 😂 #TMI #StatsDontLie"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

99 shares on X this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

88 shares on X this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to start a coven.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Just landed via Reddit:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Going viral on Messenger:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Going bananas on X:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴