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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Making waves on Facebook:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Breaking via Threads:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Even my pen pal from Alcatraz thinks I need to lighten up! 🖊️😅📬

communication, depressing, finds, friendship, humor, letter, life, pal, pen, pen pal, prison, too, us, want, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

0

2 months ago

cry, day, easy, girl, guy, humor, relationship, stereotype, text
A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

0

2 months ago

goal, humor, irony, motivation, new, new year, resolution, year
My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

0

2 months ago

event, favorite, favorite part, humor, interaction, introvert, over, relief, social, social event, social interaction, socializing
Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

0

4 months ago

communication, flirting, humor, ragebaiting, relationship, sarcasm
The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

0

2 months ago

anything, apathy, attitude, carefree, concern, confidence, days, humor, lion, much, relaxation
Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, appreciate, being, choices, headspace, humor, i, job, just, life, life choices, opportunity, position, responsibility, right, stepping, stepping down, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

42 shares on Discord this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

89 shares on X this month:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Shared recently on X:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Just shared via Threads:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Just landed via Facebook:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨