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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,044

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Trending via Discord:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Seen just now on Discord:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Live now on Discord:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Relationship status: I love my bed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relationship status: Committed to my bed, where cuddles are always available and no drama in sight. 💕😴 #BedIsBae

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, priorities, relationship, sleep, status

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

0

2 months ago

am, else, enjoying, everyone, ex, here, humor, i, independence, just, life, own, own life, relationship, single, someone, someone else, where, wondering
“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

0

2 months ago

5-year, 5-year plan, funny response, humor, i, movie, next, plan, procrastination, response, short-term, short-term plan, think, week
Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

0

2 months ago

always, Anglo, answer, contacts, electric, humor, i, just, landlord, Mike, name, names, phone, phone contacts, phones, realization, surname
I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

0

2 months ago

anger, angry, critique, entertainment, generation, humor, i, music, real, reason, sucks, think
At what age do I delete Snapchat?

0

2 months ago

age, age-related, delete, digital, humor, i, media, Snapchat, social, social media, technology, youth
I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

0

2 months ago

activity, bend, exercise, flexibility, floor, humor, i, keys, over, sure, yoga

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

77 shares on Reddit this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

14 shares on Threads this month:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

35 shares on X this month:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Trending via Reddit:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Trending via Instagram:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Breaking via Twitch:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Breaking via Instagram:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨