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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Going viral on X:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Spotted on Telegram:

I think God was high when he made me.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Breaking via Facebook:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

2 months ago

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Taking "it's me, hi, I'm the problem" to new relationship heights! 😂🌀 #CertifiedCrazy

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94 shares on Messenger this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Making waves on YouTube:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Going bananas on Reddit:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Shared recently on X:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

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Activity Log ✨

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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