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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Trending via YouTube:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Spotted on Discord:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Just shared via Threads:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Just landed via TikTok:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Just landed via TikTok:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

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Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
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Commentary:
Taking "it's me, hi, I'm the problem" to new relationship heights! 😂🌀 #CertifiedCrazy

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Discord this month:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

99 shares on Slack this month:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,071

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Making waves on Slack:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Just shared via Slack:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Spreading quickly via X:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Breaking via X:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Going viral on Instagram:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

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