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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Trending via Discord:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Going viral on Telegram:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Making waves on WeChat:

Milk or be milked.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Just shared via Threads:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

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Commentary:
Looks like I've found my new designated barker! 🚗🐶🍻

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

69 shares on X this month:

Bought some coconut shampoo, but when I got home, I realised I didn’t have a coconut.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

47 shares on X this month:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

67 shares on X this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

19 shares on Threads this month:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Breaking via YouTube:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Spotted on TikTok:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Just shared via TikTok:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

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