Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,818

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Trending via Discord:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Trending via TikTok:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Spotted on WeChat:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Going viral on YouTube:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Spotted on Slack:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I've found my new designated barker! 🚗🐶🍻

cute, dog, drive, driving, drunk, funny scenario, home, humor, me, pet, pub, rescue, scenario, teaching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

0

2 months ago

camera, freak, freak out, front, funny parenting, home, home security, kids, parenting, ring, Ring camera, security, surveillance, yell
I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

0

2 months ago

card, clever, comparison, contrast, gordon, got, heart, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous comparison, mouth, personality, personality trait, ramsay, sarcasm, savage, savage mouth, sharp, sharp tongue, soft, soft heart, tongue, trait, witty
One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

0

2 months ago

comfort, cool, day, fashion, favorite, grocery, grocery store, humor, next, pants, realization, realize, store, sweatpants
Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

0

2 months ago

asking, couple, domestic, domestic life, door, front, humor, life, marriage, night, people, person, relationship, security, sleep
Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

0

2 months ago

door, housefly, humor, i, joke, leaving, low, open, pest, running, thanks
I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

0

3 months ago

boredom, entertainment, feeling, feeling lost, finish, free, free time, frustration, hate, i, know, life, lost, show, time, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss you (the money I spent).

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

75 shares on Discord this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

22 shares on X this month:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

74 shares on X this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

47 shares on Slack this month:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Trending via Discord:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Making waves on Facebook:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨