Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Just landed via Messenger:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Trending via Twitch:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Shared recently on Threads:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Trending via Reddit:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a photographer when you can multitask like a pro? 🐮📸😅

cowgirl, humor, i, media, position, post, reverse, reverse cowgirl, selfie, sexual, sexual position, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

0

2 months ago

burn, cozy, evidence, fire, funny moment, humor, moment, nothing, open, open fire, relaxation, sitting, watching
Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

0

2 months ago

exhausting, expectations, humor, living, motivation, potential, reality, self-improvement, sounds
My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait
If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

0

2 months ago

attempt, failure, humor, irony, joke, murder, only, success
Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, deposit, finance, happiness, humor, irony, money, wealth
I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

0

1 month ago

break, conversation, dating, five, guy, guys, heart, heartbreak, humor, i, love, me, relationship, seriously, seriousness, take, talk, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

31 shares on Threads this month:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Spotted on Facebook:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Spotted on Slack:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Live now on Discord:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨