Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

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If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

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Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

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I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

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Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

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Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

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“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

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I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

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Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

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I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

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If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.