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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Breaking via Messenger:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Live now on WeChat:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Just landed via Slack:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Just landed via WeChat:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Humorous quote about comparing early work to a Rothko, capturing a lighthearted artistic vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Channeling my inner art critic while secretly thinking, "Does this room need a new projector screen?" 🎨🤣

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

22 shares on Slack this month:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Shared recently on Slack:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Just shared via Reddit:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Live now on Threads:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

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