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Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

Spotted on TikTok:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Live now on X:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Just landed via Twitch:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Going viral on Twitch:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Going viral on Threads:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Going viral on X:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about comparing early work to a Rothko, capturing a lighthearted artistic vibe.

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Commentary:
Channeling my inner art critic while secretly thinking, "Does this room need a new projector screen?" 🎨🤣

art, artist, early, early work, humor, i, joke, me, painting, past, Rothko, saying, walk, work

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92 shares on X this month:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

10 shares on X this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

42 shares on Slack this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Seen just now on Threads:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Trending via Slack:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Breaking via Facebook:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Trending via Messenger:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Shared recently on Discord:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

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Activity Log ✨

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨