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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Spotted on Instagram:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Live now on X:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Going viral on Messenger:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Breaking via Reddit:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Live now on TikTok:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Shared recently on Telegram:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Making waves on Discord:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, wait till he finds out about Santa! 🎅📚😂

conversation, fiction, guy, humor, know, me, next, none, novel, reading, right, seeing, skepticism

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

0

2 months ago

big, brussels, Brussels sprout, cabbage, comedy, food, humor, invention, joke, little, satire, sell, sprout, vegetable
You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

0

1 month ago

ago, ancient, exaggeration, humor, love, me, promise, relationship, time
I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

0

2 months ago

boss, humor, i, me, person, productivity, self, should, transformation, work, working, workplace
Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

0

5 months ago

contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work
Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

0

2 months ago

exhausting, humor, long time, once, realization, realize, relationships, single, time
When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, challenge, distraction, escape, exam, hard, humor, nature, outdoor, school, stress, window

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Threads this month:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

27 shares on X this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

28 shares on X this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Just shared via X:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Trending via Discord:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Trending via WeChat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Going viral on Threads:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Shared recently on Threads:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨