Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,878

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Spreading quickly via X:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Just landed via Telegram:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Just landed via Twitch:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Spotted on Reddit:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Trending via Threads:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Just landed via Reddit:

The world started without permission again.

Making waves on TikTok:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you want to be the center of attention but end up just toe-tally embarrassed instead 🎯😅👟

air, attention, awkward, bashful, blinking, dirt, getting, gun, humor, interaction, shoe, shooting, shy, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

0

2 months ago

baby, crazy, home, humor, know, parenting, pregnancy, someone, surprise, teeth
Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, humor, incorrectly, irony, language, spelled, still, word
Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

0

2 months ago

animal, animals, bridge, calculation, car, family, hold, i, kids, sorry, stuffed, stuffed animal, travel, vacation, weight
Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

0

5 months ago

compliment, confidence, flirting, humor, keep, man, men, particular, pretty, reason, relationship, shit, tell, woman
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, just, know, learning, life, mistake, repetition, same, sure, times
You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

0

2 months ago

communication, good, humor, irony, listener, listening, need, nodding, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Salary week, but salary weak.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Just shared via Slack:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Making waves on WeChat:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨