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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Making waves on Twitch:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Going viral on Slack:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Just shared via Reddit:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Spotted on Instagram:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Playful and humorous text about attempting to get attention, then feeling shy and awkward.
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Commentary:
When you want to be the center of attention but end up just toe-tally embarrassed instead 🎯😅👟

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

24 shares on X this month:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Spotted on Slack:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

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