Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Making waves on Slack:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Just shared via Discord:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Breaking via Threads:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Making waves on Threads:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Making waves on Twitch:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Taking multitasking to a whole new level! 🍰🚽🥄 How's your cookie dough coming along?

annoying, awkward, baking, bathroom, cake, doing, door, family, funny situation, humor, joking, privacy, situation, toilet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, constipation, diagnosis, doctor, humor, joke, just, me, medical, medical joke, wordplay, worry
My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bagpipes, hear, humor, i, music, neighbors, night, noise, shouting
It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

0

2 months ago

actually, around, bottom, humor, life, middle, perspective, realization, realize, rock, rock bottom, rock middle, somewhere, thought, weird
The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, comfort, cool, humor, jealousy, just, pillow, relationship, side, sleep, stole
I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

0

2 months ago

bank, blood, humor, i, joke, money, pun, refusal, refuse
She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

0

2 months ago

bedding, bedroom, date, drawer, fresh, humor, i, impress, matching, me, organized, relationship, sock, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Discord this month:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Trending via Telegram:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Just landed via YouTube:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Going viral on X:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨