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Looks like Santa's sleigh isn't the only thing that slides into your DMs! 🎅📱 If he ever takes a scroll through your social media, you might be unwrapping a whole lot of therapy sessions this Christmas! 😂🎁#NaughtyListBound

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

1 month ago
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It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

1 month ago
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You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

1 month ago
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Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

1 month ago
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I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

1 month ago
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You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

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All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

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Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

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A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Just landed via WeChat:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

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Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

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Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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