Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.