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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Just landed via Messenger:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Trending via Reddit:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.
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Commentary:
"Just don't let it be the start of a long-term 'bread' relationship! 🥪🤣"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Breaking via TikTok:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Shared recently on Slack:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Going viral on Reddit:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Reported on X:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

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