Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Just shared via Reddit:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Just shared via Instagram:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Just shared via YouTube:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Trending via TikTok:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Making waves on WeChat:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Testing: The newest frontier in thigh acoustics! 🎶🦵😂

bite, curiosity, humor, i, inner, inner thigh, just, noise, noises, science, should, someone, thigh, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

0

2 months ago

bacon, bad, bad day, comfort, comfort food, day, food, free, happiness, having, humor, lighthearted, should
Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

0

5 months ago

communication, humor, i, inform, leave, making, panty, party, public, relationship, remote-controlled, tired, vibrating, vibrating panty, want, wear
If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

0

2 months ago

40, age, clothes, couch, display, fashion, humor, laying, mannequin, over, over 40, people, should, stores, want
I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

0

2 months ago

again, animal, capybara, emotional, emotional support, health, humor, mental, mental health, pet, support, support animal, waking, waking up
The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, century, humanity, humor, intelligence, irony, kill, natural, natural stupidity, question, stupidity
Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

0

6 months ago

access, humor, internet, people, read-only, restriction, should, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on X this month:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

97 shares on X this month:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

30 shares on X this month:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

19 shares on Slack this month:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Shared recently on X:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Going viral on Messenger:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Just landed via Instagram:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Just landed via X:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨