Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.