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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Making waves on Threads:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Just shared via YouTube:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Spotted on Facebook:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Freshly posted on X:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, make a single-serve lemonade! 🍋🙃

again, fine, humor, independence, just, man, own, purpose, relationship, remind, reminder, self-reliance, simply, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

2 months ago

amazing, attraction, attractive, born, brain, day, distraction, functions, human, human brain, humor, only, someone, speaking, taking, test, thinking
Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

2 months ago

30, building, even, foot, height, humor, irony, just, nature, permit, regulation, tree
I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

2 months ago

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while
Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

2 months ago

$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch
I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

2 months ago

anything, appointment, busy, day, day off, else, excuse, humor, i, later, management, person, procrastination, rest, time, time management
There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

2 months ago

effect, humor, i, joke, men, migraine, relationship, self-deprecation

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

76 shares on TikTok this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

57 shares on X this month:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

65 shares on Facebook this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Making waves on WeChat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Making waves on Telegram:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Seen just now on Discord:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Going viral on Threads:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Spotted on Messenger:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨