Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,943

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Going bananas on Slack:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Shared recently on Discord:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Just landed via Facebook:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Spotted on Slack:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Going bananas on WeChat:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Silence is golden, and I'm basically Fort Knox! 😂🤐💰

act, example, humor, keeping, kindness, mouth, random, random act, self-control, shut, silence, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

0

1 month ago

accounting, complaint, diss, diss track, got, humor, i, invoicing, issue, issues, job, jobs, let, music, poorly, rhyme, sick, solve, track, us, wish, workplace
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

0

5 months ago

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel
I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

0

1 month ago

breakfast, eats, every, fitness, goal, grapefruit, half, happiness, happy, health, humor, i, irony, kind, lifestyle, morning, motivation, person, runs, self-improvement, want
Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

0

5 months ago

attractiveness, confidence, happiness, happy, looks, mood, positivity, sexier, smile
Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathrooms, cars, convenience, frustration, highway, humor, life, travel
Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

0

1 month ago

90s, adulting, affordability, affordable, feel, humor, i, nostalgia, scam

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Trending via Twitch:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Making waves on Twitch:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Going bananas on Facebook:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Going viral on Slack:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Live now on Reddit:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨