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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Trending via Slack:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Seen just now on Discord:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Spotted on YouTube:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Live now on Instagram:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

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Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.
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Commentary:
Pretending to be genuine? I'm a pro at that — my Oscar's in the mail! 🎭😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

21 shares on X this month:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

88 shares on Discord this month:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Making waves on WeChat:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Trending via Messenger:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Just shared via WeChat:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Spotted on Slack:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Just landed via Instagram:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Trending via TikTok:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Spotted on Twitch:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

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