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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Going viral on Twitch:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Trending via Messenger:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Making waves on X:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Going viral on Instagram:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Spotted on YouTube:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

3 months ago

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Pretending to be genuine? I'm a pro at that — my Oscar's in the mail! 🎭😂

authenticity, comedy, genuine, genuineness, honesty, humor, i, irony, just, need, people, pretending, problem, sarcasm, sometimes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

25 shares on Discord this month:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Broadcasted on X:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Seen just now on Facebook:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Shared recently on YouTube:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Going viral on Reddit:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Trending via Threads:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Just shared via Slack:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Breaking via YouTube:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨