Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Whoops, my bad! Looks like I accidentally walked into a parenting nightmare! 🙈 Maybe stick to using their charm to sell ice cream instead? 🍦😂"

birth, birth control, commercials, control, humor, i, joke, parenting, should, sorry, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating struggle, dynamics, humor, just, observation, relationship, single, social, social dynamics, someone, struggle, understanding, wondering
Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

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2 months ago

around, bluntness, communication, eating, humor, humor about communication, idiom, phrase, sarcasm, saying, stop, whatever, witty
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

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2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, dog, humor, intelligence, pet, sled, snow
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

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2 months ago

Christmas, day, gift, Guantanamo, heart, humor, i, irony, last, next, song
Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

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2 months ago

choice, high, high road, humor, i, personality, psychopath, road, sarcasm, take, why
I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

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2 months ago

frustration, hate, here, i, open, opening, package, person, sealed, tear, tear here, try, using

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

26 shares on X this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

98 shares on Messenger this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Trending via TikTok:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Breaking via YouTube:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Going viral on YouTube:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨