Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Making waves on Discord:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Spotted on X:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Celebrating the anniversary of my 4 a.m. bedtime with another late-night snack 🍕😴🎉

4, am, deprivation, exaggeration, humor, insomnia, late, late night, next, night, ruined, schedule, sleep, sleep deprivation, sleep schedule, stay, tiredness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

0

2 months ago

activity, dancing, fun, fun activity, media, obligation, post, posting, self-expression, social, social media, video, yourself
When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

0

5 months ago

doing, excuse, humor, just, know, message, messages, multitasking, posting, returning, shit, superhero
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

0

2 months ago

confusion, Friday, humor, nothing, realization, schedule, Thursday, time, weekend
A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, bird, comedy, dead, door, embarrassed, event, flew, funny moment, glass, glass door, humor, just, moment, nature, unexpected, unexpected event
I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

0

3 months ago

attraction, change, dating, funny observation, i, interest, interested, love, man, mood, mood change, move, observation, obsession, relationship, woman, women, wrong
I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, humor, i, just, notice, noticed, post, thank, wanted, week, weeks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Meow means woof in cat.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

76 shares on Threads this month:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Just shared via Facebook:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Going viral on Slack:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Just shared via Messenger:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨