Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

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Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

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Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

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Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

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Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

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In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

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My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

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If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

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Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

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For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.