Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Trending via Twitch:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Going viral on X:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Freshly posted on X:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Currently accepting applications for professional forehead kissers! 😘❤️ #DoctorApproved"

affection, deficiency, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, kisses, longing, relationship, self-diagnosed, suffering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

0

2 months ago

actions, came, hope, humor, i, irony, language, punishment, spelling, Wednesday, wordplay
Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

0

2 months ago

comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma
You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, fight, fighting, getting, humor, old, over, pain, parts, realize, start
For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

0

2 months ago

afraid, failure, fear, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, someone, unmotivated
If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, exhaustion, hangover, humor, needs, productivity, recovery, right, today, weekend
Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, before, date, even, event, excuse, i, miscommunication, situation, social, social situation, whoops

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Spotted on Threads:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Breaking via X:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Seen just now on TikTok:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spotted on Discord:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Shared recently on X:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨