Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Just landed via TikTok:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Just shared via Twitch:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew it took rocket fuel to launch the Calculator app? 🚀🔢😂

Adderall, app, calculator, calculator app, focus, humor, irony, medication, productivity, taking, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

2 months ago

automotive, car, cars, classic, classic car, embarrassment, humor, muscle, muscle car, Mustang, name, nostalgia, remember
Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

2 months ago

1970s, authority, control, deaths, God, humor, irony, nightmare, quicksand, thank, under
Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

2 months ago

cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears
Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

2 months ago

bleed, country, day, election, humor, irony, patriot, period, true
I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

2 months ago

activity, before, coworkers, fun, fun activity, hand, hand stamper, home, humor, i, night, own, prank, stamper, think, workplace, workplace humor
“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

2 months ago

2012, culture, date, humor, joke, Mayan, prediction, prophecy, stop, told, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on X this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

22 shares on Discord this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Just shared via Discord:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Making waves on TikTok:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Trending via Messenger:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Half princess, half menace.

Spotted on TikTok:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨