Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

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Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

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Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

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Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

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You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

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With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

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IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

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Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

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“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.