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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Spotted on Telegram:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Seen just now on Slack:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Trending via Snapchat:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Just landed via TikTok:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Just landed via Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Trending via Instagram:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When asking your girl what's wrong is the real investment risk. 🕵️‍♂️📉💸"

ask, communication, dating, economy, girl, humor, joke, relationship, terrible, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

0

2 months ago

birth, born, chuck, Chuck Norris, doctor, humor, joke, norris, slap, toughness
You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

0

2 months ago

drug, humor, me, moron, oxy, surprise, telling
They should invent someone who holds me.

0

2 months ago

companionship, hold, humor, invent, invention, loneliness, me, should, someone
You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

0

5 months ago

after, evening, humor, know, management, minutes, next, procrastination, relax, relaxation, thing, time, time management, tiredness, work
I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

0

2 months ago

conversation, denial, humor, i, introspection, myself, problem, self-reflection
I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, finding, humor, i, irony, online, preferences, shopping, stop, technology, things, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

75 shares on Slack this month:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Making waves on Twitch:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Shared recently on Discord:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Just landed via WeChat:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Just shared via Telegram:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

They should invent someone who holds me.

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨