Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Trending via Discord:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Trending via Messenger:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Just shared via Threads:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Making waves on TikTok:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Making waves on Facebook:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Spotted on WeChat:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Making waves on Instagram:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the toilet is more comfortable than the bed, you know you’ve picked the right Airbnb! 🛏️🚽😴

Airbnb, asleep, comfort, comfortable, falling, humor, never, reviews, sleep, tell, toilet, toilets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

0

2 months ago

activity, better, child, death, education, fun, fun activity, game, great, hanging, hangman, having, humor, learn, learning, man, save, spell, spelling, wordplay
If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

0

2 months ago

end, game, humor, ICU, injured, injury, peekaboo, play, playing
Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

0

2 months ago

art, art museum, attraction, compliment, flirty, humor, i, just, museum, romantic, stare, why
Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media
Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

0

4 days ago

asking, communication, conversation, dating, end, flirting, humor, joke, just, relationship, sex, woman, women
Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

0

2 months ago

aspirations, career, five, humor, interview, job, job interview, life, me, procrastination, sabbatical, where, work, work life, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

66 shares on YouTube this month:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Just shared via YouTube:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Just shared via Telegram:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Spotted on Threads:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Spotted on X:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Seen just now on Discord:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Just landed via Instagram:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨