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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Just shared via Facebook:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Just landed via YouTube:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Making waves on Snapchat:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Spotted on X:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Going viral on Reddit:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the toilet is more comfortable than the bed, you know you’ve picked the right Airbnb! 🛏️🚽😴

Airbnb, asleep, comfort, comfortable, falling, humor, never, reviews, sleep, tell, toilet, toilets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

0

2 months ago

calory, counting, diet, eating, food, fun, great, humor, irony, math, not eating, super, things
Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

0

2 months ago

control, disappointed, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, irony, remote, universal, universe
You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

0

2 months ago

always, bit, container, diet, eating, eating habits, every, food, habits, humor, last, scrape, someone, tell, yogurt
I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

0

3 weeks ago

age, ball, balls, enough, FIFA, football, humor, joke, kicking, nostalgia, old, remember, soccer, sports
I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

0

2 months ago

ask, give, hell, humor, i, Kanye, million, money, right, think, time, timing
My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

0

2 months ago

always, getting, getting ready, habit, humor, i, management, minutes, personal, personal struggle, problem, procrastination, punctuality, ready, self-awareness, struggle, think, time, time management

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

60 shares on Instagram this month:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨