Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Going bananas on X:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Just shared via X:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Seen just now on Threads:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Making waves on X:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Just shared via Telegram:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, my longest relationship was with my WiFi and snacks! 😂🍕📺 #LivingTheDream"

activity, before, best, dating, freedom, fun, fun activity, independence, life, meet, pre-meet, relationship, single, single life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

0

2 months ago

AI, analysis, asked, humor, i, just, Marxism, obvious, parody, perspective, pretty, satire, technology, well
“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

0

2 months ago

act, alcohol, buy, cigarettes, day, done, humor, i, kindness, random, random act, stranger, teens
Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, humor, life, relatable, responsibility, school, skip, work
I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

0

2 months ago

bed, everyone, exhaustion, fun, going, humor, keep, party, quiet, sleep, try
Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

0

4 weeks ago

affair, cheating, forget, humor, marriage, married, person, ready, relationship, shit, young, young person
Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, communication, digital, digital communication, Gmail, life, media, routine, social, social media, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

80 shares on Slack this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Making waves on TikTok:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Just landed via Twitch:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Making waves on TikTok:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Just landed via Facebook:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Breaking via Snapchat:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Trending via Telegram:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Going viral on Discord:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨