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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Breaking via Twitch:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love it when God gives me money.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

2 months ago

0

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
👏👏 The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have felt like a one-man standing ovation auditioning for the role of "Awkward Encourager." Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and applaud your way through life's uncertainties! 😄👏

after, am, clap, confusion, cool, doing, guy, hell, humor, i, reaction, seeing, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

0

2 months ago

animal, blanket, cage, enough, humor, okay, over, put, sarcasm, seen, someone
Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

0

2 months ago

challenges, hard, humor, irony, life, stupid, wisdom
If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

0

1 month ago

appreciate, appreciation, communication, drunk, drunk text, friendship, humor, intoxication, message, someone, straight, text, texting, texts, think, thought
Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

0

2 months ago

cycle, frustration, health, hour, humor, joke, just, last, leave, menstruation, period, point, pregnancy, pregnant, time, why, women’s, women’s health
Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

0

2 months ago

humor, i, misunderstanding, murder, smother, still, thought, time, wordplay
I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, leisure, observation, outdoor, outdoors, outside, put, scenery, stuff, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

67 shares on X this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

48 shares on Discord this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

31 shares on X this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

100 shares on Slack this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Shared recently on X:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Trending via Discord:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Making waves on TikTok:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Trending via Messenger:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Trending via Threads:

Strict parents raise good liars.

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