Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Breaking via WeChat:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Going viral on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Going viral on WeChat:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Breaking via Reddit:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Going viral on Telegram:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty and humorous text about early human reactions to throwing up.

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Commentary:
When your stomach invents interpretative dance without your permission 😂🤢💃

curiosity, early, early human, ever, hell, human, humor, ok, person, reaction, surprise, throw, vomiting

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21 shares on Telegram this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Just landed via Instagram:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Just shared via X:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Spotted on X:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Breaking via Messenger:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Seen just now on X:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Making waves on Slack:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Just shared via WeChat:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Spotted on Twitch:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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