Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Shared recently on X:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Overthinkaholic!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Breaking via Slack:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

4 weeks ago

Witty and humorous text about early human reactions to throwing up.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your stomach invents interpretative dance without your permission 😂🤢💃

curiosity, early, early human, ever, hell, human, humor, ok, person, reaction, surprise, throw, vomiting

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on X this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

18 shares on Facebook this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Trending via Snapchat:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Live now on Facebook:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨