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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,836

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Trending via Discord:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Going viral on YouTube:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Going viral on X:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

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The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”
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Commentary:
When it comes to superheroes, our generation's got more plot twists than a comic book! 😂🦸‍♀️🔍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

75 shares on X this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

62 shares on Facebook this month:

They’re making me get out of bed.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

23 shares on Slack this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Just shared via Instagram:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just shared via TikTok:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Trending via Pinterest:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Spotted on Twitch:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

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