Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Going viral on X:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Trending via YouTube:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Just shared via Facebook:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Freshly posted on X:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Forget the grass, just pass me that filter! 🌿😎📸"

filter, grass, greener, humor, illusion, just, over, perception, perspective, reality, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, convinced, Earth, explosion, feet, humor, land, landing, moon, safely, safety, space, whimsical
Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, comparison, dog, hot, hot dog, humor, movy, night, relatable, sleep, tossing, turning, women
I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

0

2 months ago

childhood, delivery, egging, food, food delivery, house, humor, i, life, rural, rural life, small, small town, someone, thing, town
Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

0

2 months ago

activity, booling, everyone, high, high school, nobody, nostalgia, school, slang, social, social activity
When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

0

2 months ago

causing, causing scene, comparison, double, double standard, Hulk, humor, i, incredible, leave, need, place, scene, shit, standard, wreck
If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

0

2 months ago

doing, ever, humor, irony, just, last, lesson, life, life lesson, lol, mistakes, nice, opposite, parenting, problem, solve, think, time, try, universe, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Just landed via Messenger:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Making waves on TikTok:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Spotted on X:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Making waves on Slack:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Just landed via Telegram:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Spotted on Discord:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨