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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

430 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,699

Funny Quotes Topics

17,717

Funny Quotes Images

15,699

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Trending via Instagram:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Spotted on Facebook:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Just landed via Reddit:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Trending via Threads:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Live now on TikTok:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

18 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Playing the Oscar-worthy role of 'Enthusiastic Employee #1' every day! 🎭😅

care, caring, corporate, corporate life, hardest, humor, irony, life, matter, office, pretending, pretense, things, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

2 months ago

college, every, except, group, group project, humor, people, person, project, sarcasm, single, smart, smarter, student, teamwork, three, welcome, where
The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

3 months ago

bed, comfort, day, i, laziness, miss, relaxation, sleep, thing
Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

5 months ago

butterfly, crush, delusion, feeling, fun, having, just, literally
My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

2 months ago

again, beauty, hell, humor, husband, i, makeup, making, mistake, relationship, think, TikTok, tutorials
I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

2 months ago

50th, 60th, apocalypse, context, exaggeration, feel, feeling, horseman, humor, i
Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

2 months ago

communication, email, hilarious, humor, meeting, sexting, think, truly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

50 shares on Threads this month:

All roads lead to disappointment.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Just shared via Threads:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Just landed via Reddit:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Going viral on X:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Going viral on X:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Just shared via Threads:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Seen just now on Slack:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Making waves on Threads:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨