Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Live now on LinkedIn:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Just landed via WeChat:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Seen just now on Instagram:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just landed via X:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Trending via Messenger:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Even the haters are impressed by my consistency 😂🎯 #NailedIt"

accomplishment, call, correct, failure, great, haters, humor, i, irony, motivation, said, sarcasm, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

65 shares on Reddit this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Trending via Snapchat:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Making waves on Discord:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just shared via WeChat:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

I probably think this song is about me.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

I probably think this song is about me.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨