Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Going viral on Instagram:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Live now on Messenger:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Going viral on TikTok:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Spotted on YouTube:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Even the haters are impressed by my consistency 😂🎯 #NailedIt"

accomplishment, call, correct, failure, great, haters, humor, i, irony, motivation, said, sarcasm, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

0

3 months ago

crime, documentary, entertainment, humor, i, news, put, relax, relaxation, sometimes, true, true crime, turn
Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

0

2 months ago

amateur, car, confidence, hoodie, humor, joke, real, steal, theft, woman
Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

0

2 months ago

better, dumb, entertainment, humor, movie, movie rental store, nonsense, nostalgia, opinion, rental, store, stores, streaming, technology
I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

0

2 months ago

again, confidence, failure, falling, humor, irony, mission, repetition, sarcasm, success, successful, times
Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

0

4 months ago

analogy, balloon, communication, finds, hope, hoping, humor, internet, media, message, person, right, social, social media, Twitter
Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

0

2 months ago

advice, home, homes, humor, leave, Monday, morning, need, outside, people, today, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on YouTube this month:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

81 shares on X this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

16 shares on X this month:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨