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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Just shared via Reddit:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Live now on WhatsApp:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Just landed via Instagram:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Going viral on Threads:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Spotted on Reddit:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Just landed via X:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Breaking via WeChat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me: *clocks out at 5pm* 💼🚪 Coworker: Where are you going? Me: On a permanent holiday… in my mind! 🏝️💭 #WorkEthicOnVacation"

ethic, holiday, holidays, humor, motivation, office, over, procrastination, still, vacation, work, work ethic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

0

6 months ago

beach, body, casual, confidence, humor, self-deprecating, summer, vacation
Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

0

2 months ago

check, distraction, done, excuse, homework, i, Instagram, media, need, presentation, procrastination, school, social, social media, technology, teen, teenager, teens, why
I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

0

2 months ago

born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles
I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

0

2 months ago

6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

0

3 months ago

boredom, entertainment, feeling, feeling lost, finish, free, free time, frustration, hate, i, know, life, lost, show, time, watching
Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

0

2 months ago

amusement, entertainment, funnier, humor, joke, laughs, laughter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

80 shares on X this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

46 shares on X this month:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Going bananas on Reddit:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Just shared via X:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨