Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasnโ€™t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, letโ€™s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Netflix needs to stop asking if Iโ€™m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Trending via Threads:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Spreading quickly via X:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Yes, Iโ€™m full of microplastics, but itโ€™s actually been helpful. Itโ€™s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Breaking via Discord:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Broke my work phone. I canโ€™t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Witty quote about preferring relationship fantasies over real-life frustrations, humorous and playful.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
When you realize 'Good morning' is actually a threat! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒ… #IWannaSleep

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
โœจ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

38 shares on Reddit this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I touched grass today, and Iโ€™m still like this. Please advise.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m not built to work, Iโ€™m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesnโ€™t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. Thatโ€™s why I think of running everyday.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, Iโ€™m mature, and I like you.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hot girl in her 20s: Itโ€™s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized theyโ€™d stolen my entire social strategy.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs โ€” whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Your DM doesnโ€™t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Tailgating me while Iโ€™m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Going viral on Slack:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry Iโ€™m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My phone storage is full so I guess itโ€™s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Going viral on Slack:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you donโ€™t know, with no teeth.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Idiocracy wasnโ€™t supposed to be a documentary.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Making waves on TikTok:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด