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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Spotted on Facebook:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Just shared via Facebook:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Trending via Instagram:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Live now on Slack:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Just shared via Slack:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

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The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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Commentary:
"Time flies when you're having… naps! 😴🕒😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

15 shares on Discord this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step to recovery is addiction.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Live now on Facebook:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Trending via YouTube:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Live now on TikTok:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Just landed via Reddit:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

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