Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Nov 26, 2025

3,978

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Seen just now on Discord:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Just landed via X:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Just shared via YouTube:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Going viral on Reddit:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Going viral on Twitch:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

2 weeks ago

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, sounds like your wife has mastered the art of playing hide and seek with her own phone! 📱😂 Maybe it’s her way of keeping you on your toes—or just testing your detective skills. Either way, teamwork makes the dream work—especially when it involves finding missing phones! 🕵️‍♂️❤️

call, communication, ever, humor, i, joke, just, marital, marital joke, marriage, only, person, phone, relationship, trying, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,541

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,541

Nov 26, 2025

3,582

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Breaking via WeChat:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Spotted on X:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Going bananas on Threads:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Live now on Slack:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Making waves on YouTube:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending via Discord:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

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