Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Trending via Slack:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Spotted on YouTube:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Just landed via Threads:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Trending via Twitch:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Shared recently on Discord:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Just shared via Telegram:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

1 month ago

Witty quote about dreams and waking up too soon, humorous and relatable in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When reality hits you like a cold shower just as you were getting to the good part 🌨️💤⏰

before, disappointment, dream, great, humor, irony, nightmare, only, sleep, thing, waking, waking up, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

1 month ago

blood, call, cravings, eat, emotions, everything, everywhere, feel, huge, humor, i, me, menstruation, people, period, scared, shark, Shark week, snapping, want, week
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

3 weeks ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule
Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

1 month ago

comparison, cute, dogs, having, humor, me, men, much, own, pet, relationship, too, work
The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

3 weeks ago

daily, daily struggle, day, exist, existence, fact, humor, i, irritation, least, me, once, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, struggle
If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

1 month ago

am, fear, Halloween, holiday, humor, i, joke, over, scare, scared, spooky, still, why
Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

3 weeks ago

big, black, Black Friday, consumerism, Friday, grocery, humor, put, sale, shopping, TV, TVs

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

20 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Live now on Threads:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Trending via YouTube:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Going viral on Messenger:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Seen just now on X:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Making waves on WeChat:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨