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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Finally, a solution to my 'oopsie' backlog! 🚀😂 #MistakeUpgrades"

bigger, even, failure, forget, humor, humor quote, irony, learning, life, mistake, mistakes, only, past, present

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

0

2 months ago

animal, creation, giraffe, God, humor, joke, mouse, neck, screen
My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

0

2 months ago

advice, asylum, friends, give, health, humor, i, irony, mental, mental health, self-awareness, toxic, toxic trait, trait
There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

0

2 months ago

discord, Discord Nitro, gaming, humor, living, nitro, online, online service, pay, paying, people, real, service, subscription, us
It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, paradox, repetition, time, times, worst, worst time
Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

0

2 months ago

bowl, craving, cream, dessert, emptiness, empty, food, humor, ice, ice cream, licking, sadness, small, staring, too
Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

0

4 months ago

beat, break, breakup, coping, heartbreak, humor, love, me, relationship, resilience, sarcasm, someone, witty, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on X this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

57 shares on Slack this month:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

76 shares on Discord this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just landed via Discord:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Live now on Reddit:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨