The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.