Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Making waves on Reddit:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Spotted on WeChat:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Seen just now on X:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Trending via Slack:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Spreading quickly via X:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Trending via Twitch:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they're finally learning how to make themselves Priority No. 1 on their own list of Most Annoying People! 😆🛋️💆‍♂️

advice, being, health, humor, ironic, know, mental, mental health, need, person, psychology, put, putting, putting first, right, self-care, therapy, told, worst, Worst Person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

0

4 months ago

desire, frustration, God, humor, i, let, life, me, once, plea, please, prayer, want, wish
Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

0

2 months ago

code, codes, girls, humor, just, loneliness, message, technology, verification, verification code
You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

0

2 months ago

both, cat, just, love, morning, much, sober, sun, told, weird
The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

0

2 months ago

healthcare, humor, irony, job, money, paramedic, paycheck, profession, seen, thing, workplace, worst
I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

0

2 months ago

12, break, distraction, goodbye, humor, i, life, media, minutes, next, realization, social, social media, time
I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

0

2 months ago

assistant, back, call, couch, cushions, here, humor, i, lost, phone, smartphone, technology, voice, voice assistant, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

90 shares on X this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

56 shares on Threads this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Just landed via X:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Just shared via Messenger:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Just landed via Facebook:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Trending via Reddit:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨