Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.