Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Trending via Discord:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Spotted on WeChat:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Breaking via Reddit:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Trending via YouTube:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Just landed via TikTok:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Just shared via X:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relatable! My password memory upgrade is still buffering… 🔄😂🔐

every, forgot, forgot password, hit, humor, i, just, log, login, management, need, online, online security, password, password management, security, strategy, technology, time, website, websites, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

0

3 weeks ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beautiful woman, big, big car, buy, car, driving, gorgeous, grocery, house, humor, irony, kitchen, luxury, oh, overpriced, rich, rich woman, shopping, stock, woman
“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

0

2 months ago

account, balance, business, check, denial, finance, God, humor, money, self-awareness
Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

0

2 months ago

bet, culture, even, fashion, guys, humor, i, irony, name, Nasa, pop, pop culture, shirts, songs, stereotypes, stop
Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, disappointment, Friday, humor, irony, midweek, nothing, only, ruins, Wednesday, workweek
I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

0

2 weeks ago

afford, budget, calculation, December, finance, holiday, holiday spending, humor, i, money, only, pray, prayer, spending

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

78 shares on X this month:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Making waves on Twitch:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Just shared via Slack:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨