Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Freshly posted on X:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Freshly posted on X:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Live now on WhatsApp:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Just landed via Slack:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Trending via Reddit:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

56 minutes ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about forgetfulness: using "forgot password" as a lazy login strategy.

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Commentary:
Relatable! My password memory upgrade is still buffering… 🔄😂🔐

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Instagram this month:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

30 shares on Threads this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

12 shares on Discord this month:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

100 shares on X this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Spotted on Instagram:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Seen just now on Facebook:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Just shared via Reddit:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Just shared via Telegram:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

I wish I had a friend like me.

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

I wish I had a friend like me.

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨